Becoming Anna Kopp
Aktualisiert: 9. Jan. 2019
Do you know Anna?
Sometimes people ask: which Anna? THAT Anna, oh, you mean ANNA! Or... which Anna? Anna Kopp. Oh, sure, Anna KOPP. And all the while, here is me, just another Anna, like many Annas (looking up statistics, the name was most popular name for newborn girls in 2006 in Germany, last year Anna was the most common female name in Sweden, and there are over 700k Annas in the US alone) wondering how this persona happened. Because, although I have an idea of the impression I might be making, it is just one of those masks we all wear. I just started to get good at switching on and off, once I found me. Finding myself. That sounds very fluffy self help 101, but that is not what I am trying to express. I wish I could say I worked hard to build my brand, but I didn't quite consciously do that. But I probably did, as I put a lot of intuition and work into listening to others, understanding, adapting and working on my own awareness towards myself. It still feels like it just fell into place because I listened and understood what others saw when they looked at me. And this is hard! Who dares to see themselves through others eyes? And I used it. There it is, in all it's glorious honesty.
I have the occasional bout of impostor syndrome. We all do. Some people wouldn't even know that the nagging feeling of personal insufficiency has been named a syndrome. Some people on the other hand think they are something special, the bees knees, well we are- and we are not. I grew up with a mindset, typical in Sweden, and it is in ingrained in my Nordic heart, mind and soul. The law of Jante, as explained on Wikipedia, is a used in colloquial speech in the Nordic countries as a sociological term to denote a condescending attitude towards individuality and success, the term refers to a mentality that diminishes individual effort and places all emphasis on the collective, while simultaneously denigrating those who try to stand out as individual achievers.
The ten rules state:
You're not to think you are anything special.
You're not to think you are as good as we are.
You're not to think you are smarter than we are.
You're not to imagine yourself better than we are.
You're not to think you know more than we do.
You're not to think you are more important than we are.
You're not to think you are good at anything.
You're not to laugh at us.
You're not to think anyone cares about you.
You're not to think you can teach us anything.
Totally contrary to what Anna, which Anna, oh, THAT Anna, looks like she stands for. I rebelled! I broke out of Jante Jail!
Well, no. I didn't. But it looks like I did on the outside. It is a good story, and story telling is all the rage, I heard.
I reflect a lot about myself, and I see it as a bit of a duty to be a persona, because the world needs personas, courageous women who are authentic or at least try, try hard, to be. So I am taking one for the team in laying it all out here. I just really want to make very clear that I feel like the real anna writes her name with a humble small a, and is hidden beneath all those complex layers, and my Annaism chronicles is a way to get this clarity for myself. So don't be fooled to think this is one big juicy hairy expression of my ego, please! I just let you read it because.. Jante and all that!
Photo by www.carolinefloritz.de